Did I the Tired Father
by lealila
Summary: Clone Wars one-shots. Possible spoilers. 2: Ahsoka thinks she understands him, now. 3: Obi-Wan and Satine only think they love each other.
1. Overlords

_**insert disclaimer (title based off shakespeares "julius caesar" and come when caissius tells brutus that caesar isn't all powerful because he saved caesar from drowning.)**_

_**SPOILARS!**_

_Did I The Tired Father_

_scene: overlords: season 3: when qui-gon appears to obi-wan _

He heard a rustle, a whisper of a noise from the Force. Startled, he turned around.

"Obi-Wan? Have you done as I asked? Have you trained the boy?"

"Master Qui-Gon?" Obi-Wan blinked. What? He took his lightsaber out—this wasn't Qui-Gon. He's _dead_. "How are you here?"

"I am here because you are here." He sounds amused. Sounds how Obi-Wan always imagined (_remembered)_ how Qui-Gon would sound like.

_That's because he _is_ Qui-Gon._

_No. I-I don't understand._ Did he speak those words aloud? He thinks so. Obi-Wan holds the lightsaber hilt closer, and tries to glance away. But he glances back, changing the subject. "What is this place?"

Qui-Gon walks toward him, but slightly around, ignoring the still-ignited saber. "Unlike any other. A conjugate where the entire power of the universe flows." _What?_

…

Oh.

"Are we in danger?" He's not scared. He's _not_ scared.

"This planet is both an amplifier and a magnet. Three are here who seek Skywalker. They, like me, believe him to be the Chosen One."

Obi-Wan looks down, putting out his saber. _Anakin_. "Do you know really? Do you really know if he's the Chosen One?"

Qui-Gon looks back at him. He looks so _real_, so _alive_, and that makes Obi-Wan long for the days when everything was normal, and there was no war.

He small smile flits across the older man's face. "No. I don't."

"I've missed you, Master."

Qui-Gon walks closer, placing a hand onto Obi-Wan's shoulder. "But you're happy."

Obi-Wan looks back up, and he does smile. "Yes. Anakin—"

Another rustle and stirring in the Force, and Qui-Gon disappears. Obi-Wan turns around. Anakin stands in the entrance, Ahsoka at his side.

"Master?"

Obi-Wan walks closer. "Yes, Anakin?"

Anakin pauses, and blinks at Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan blinks back. Ahsoka looks confused.

"Masters?"

The spell is broken. "We found something, Obi-Wan." Anakin gestures out. Ahsoka heads out, and Anakin follows. Obi-Wan hesitates.

"Obi-Wan? Are you coming?"

Obi-Wan nods, and follows Ahsoka out of the cave.

"Of course, Anakin."

He knows Anakin gets the real meaning.


	2. Padawan Lost

_**if this doesn't make much sense—it's not supposed to. i'll let you figure out why. **_

_scene: padawan lost/wookie hunt/post RotS: season 3: ahsoka thinks she understands him, now_

She thinks that she can understand him, now. At least. To a certain extent. A better extent.

Being in that cage—then being hunted down like an _animal—_

Ahsoka hated it. And she hated that Kalifa and O-Mar and Jinx had to go through this for _years_. (She used that hate—Ahsoka won't deny it. But that doesn't mean she'll tell anyone.)

(She almost told Anakin.)

Ahsoka was a slave. They were all slaves. Not having any sort of freedom. And watching Kalifa die—in her eyes, there was understanding. Kalifa knew that she was going to die someday on the Trandoshan moon. And Anakin told her that when you're a slave—it doesn't take long to understand that you won't have forever. That your life could end in the blink of an eye. And that no one would care.

(Jinx and O-Mar mourned for the whole night. Ahsoka, guiltily, mourned for minutes.)

Ahsoka tells him. But only when he asks. She tells him everything.

And Anakin looks down with something like disgust, pity, anger, amusement. "You're lucky it was only for a few days."

And that angers her. She doesn't know why, entirely. Maybe because he _didn't_ have only a few days, but years and years. Maybe because then, it hits her, that no one came after her. And Ahsoka thought someone would be looking for her—even if was only Anakin, because only Anakin would break the rules. But he _didn't_, and that _hurts_...

_(master! master please. i understand now. anakin!)_

(But that's a lie, she'll later know. Days do not affect you like years do. One careless death in your eyes doesn't make up for over thirty.)

_(And Ahsoka never thanked Chewbacca.)_


	3. Satine Trilogy

_scene: satine trilogy: season 2: obi-wan and satine only think they love each other_

He tells her, full of sleep and blaster wounds: "I'm not a very good knight, am I?"

She replies, full of wakefulness and bacta: "No. You aren't."

Qui-Gon is out and scouting for any more threats. The cave is dark, and he can just make out Satine hovering over him with an extra unopened bacta patch. Obi-Wan blinks, and suddenly realizes how close the young Duchess is and the nervous flutter he may be feeling and may have felt once before.

She leans forward and softly kisses his cheek. He pretends there isn't a Jedi Code, and that he's really only a fifteen year old boy and she's really only a nineteen year old girl without a system she'll someday rule. They both pretend that they enjoy this closeness, this not-kiss, this soon-to-be secret. Like it's something they'll one day look back on and laugh about how silly they were.

In the back of both their minds, they know that they'll never look back and laugh. But they're curious, and Qui-Gon won't be back for minutes still.

(Nothing serious happens. They don't have enough time to explore buried feelings.

At least. That's what they tell themselves.)

_**xxx**_

She tells him, full of age and perspicacity: "I remember a time when Jedi were not generals, but peacekeepers."

He replies, full of age and perspicacity: "We protect lives. Your own, at the moment."

They bicker, like they did when they first met, before that not-kiss. Like little children who think they know everything but learning so much in tandem. Like nothing ever happened and they feel nothing for each other.

Obi-Wan feels Anakin's smugness hiding bitter resentment and cold amusement. He doesn't blame him—how many times has Obi-Wan lectured Anakin on compassion and attachments? Satine feels the eyes of Senators full of pretend interest hiding pretend amusement and quiet, calculating thoughts on how to use this situation to their advantage in any future time event. She knows politicians.

Finally, _finally_, Senator Marek interrupts them, giving them a chance to cool down, to think, and just get away from each other. Satine doesn't hesitate—storming out of the holding room.

_**xxx**_

She tells him, full of apprehension and obstinacy: "I've loved you, from the moment I met you, all those years ago."

He replies, full of caution and steadiness: "Had you said the word, I would've left the Jedi Order."

Marek rolls his eyes and they both pretend that they don't want to roll their eyes too. It's not that—They don't—...

Satine steps on Marek's foot, then Anakin decides to kill him. Anakin shoots him a questioning glare, and Obi-Wan shoots him a questioning glare right back. Satine talks about duty and Obi-Wan wonders what Siri would think, if she would know if he actually meant it.

_**xxx**_

He tells her, full of despondency and stillness: "I don't know what you want from me."

She tells him, full of despondency and stillness: "I've never wanted anything from you."

Her living chamber is quiet and Obi-Wan pulls his robe tighter around him. He can't sense any danger, and he starts to wonder, again, why he was sent to protect Satine. "Tell me. Why am I here again?"

She places her book—an ancient one written on flimsy with a brown hard cover—on the side table to the left of her. Says, "Death Watch made a threat against my life and my guards and Councilor Tarin overreacted."

They don't bicker like children. There's no one else to scrutinize their every move and word. There's no hands on neck and kisses on cheeks. There's no declaration of love and no wonderment. There never will be again.

Two days later, Obi-Wan's called back into service. Satine and he say their goodbyes as friends would. Three days later the Duchess is found dead with a blaster burn straight to her heart. Obi-Wan only learns this a month afterwards when Ahsoka gets a comm from Senator Amidala seven hours after the Battle of Corellia. Obi-Wan can't say he's as stricken as Ahsoka; he doesn't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. It's not that he's numb; he just knows that she never meant so much to him as he first thought. Obi-Wan confesses as much to Anakin later that night when questioned why he's isn't as grief stricken as Ahsoka.

_("Siri has joined the Force." His voice and face are carefully blank as he stares down Magus. His lightsaber is warm in his grasp, but he won't use it. Not in the way that he wants.)_

"It's not that we didn't love each other. It's just…we only thought we did. We were young and foolish and in constant danger. I can't explain it much better than that."


	4. Mon Cala Trilogy

_scene: sometime before water war: season 4: the death of yos kolina_

Lee-Char takes a breath. And dives.

**_xxx_**

_Yos Kolina is tired of this arguing between species. He is sorely tempted to call this council meeting over, but his son needs to see this for he is to be king someday. _

_Hour pass, and still, nothing is solved about the crisis of the new war. Yos believes to stay loyal to the Republic, but the Quarren believe it is time for something new. The CIS promise an army to defend against the traitorous Republic, and the Republic promise the same for the Sepratists. _

_Senator Meena Tills and Nossor Ri are arguing again, and there are other members bickering to one another and—_

"_ENOUGH!_"

_The chamber goes silent. "We will convene tomorrow at this time. It is obvious the room is too hot-headed to make any decision rationally." Yos leaves without another word, and Lee-Char follows. _

_They swim toward the castle without words, but Yos feels the need to say "they weren't always like this. When I observed my father, and early in my career, decisions were made quickly and rationally."_

_His son doesn't say anything for a moment. "As king, it's duty to keep the council in line. But the council only listens to themselves." He glances at his father. "Maybe a new system is needed to make the right decision."_

_**xxx**_

Lee-Char has wanted to change the system the moment he received the crown. But…he never proposed such an idea to the council members. It may or may not have to do with the memory of his father. It may or may not have to do with what happened to Yos Kolina after he proposed the idea.

**_xxx_**

_Yos made sure his son is at home for this meeting. He doesn't want him to be at risk of accusations, and what those accusations may lead to: he's willing to put his own life in danger, but never his son's. _

_The meeting starts with the usual customs, but before it can officially begin, Yos cuts in. _

"_I would like to propose a new idea. A new system of rule, to be exact."_

_Silence. Yos Kolina has a deep feeling that his proposal will bring nothing but trouble, but he stands with his idea._

_**xxx**_

But now is _different_, and with the war and all—the citizens changed, and the politicians changed too. And now, Lee-Char is determined to not let his father's idea end in vain.


End file.
